Monday, January 17, 2005
To Sharon:
1st time that i was not talking to u after my home visits. really missed those times when u will call me n talk to me as i travel back to hall. n when your sms came in, it was always just less than 5 messages b4 u asked me not to reply. in fact, for the past 1 month, it has always been like this. are my sms really so annoying that u do not want to talk to me? know that u r busy but even on weekends or in the morning, its also like tat. do u really dislike me so much that u dont even allow me to take food for u or give u a treat? at the restaurant that time, i took a prawn for u but u said u dont want so i left it on your plate. then after some time, u took a prawn yourself, the exact same dish, with the prawn which i took for u still on your plate. n when paying the bill, i treated everybody but why must u insist on paying me everything? its to celebrate my bday n u dont even allow me to do something i like? know that i'm not rich n tat my family background is poor, but is it because of this that u 'xian qi' my money, that i'm not worthy to treat u so u dont want me to treat u? if its so, jus tell me. its ok. i can take it. there's no news or things that i cant take anymore. nothing else matters to me anymore. even though u told me just now that u see whether u having lunch outside 1st, i was not even surprised anymore. although i may be disappointed that u said that because u said yest that u will have lunch outside, i already am prepared for this news le. n even if u say that u not going on fri anymore cos u going out with your og or your friends, i wont be too surprised or sad either. afterall, u seem to be still reluctant to go out with me. in fact, i was thinking that if i die or maybe even commit suicide, you wont be grieving or crying for me everyday anymore, like what u said u will last month, on the 15th. that time u still loved me so u will grieve n cry everyday but since now u dont love me anymore, u prob will jus cry n grieve a few days n after that wont anymore. afterall, u have the support of your religion. if it can help u overcome ur saddness when u broke up with me lst month n make u appear to have gotten over it so fast in jus a few days, i'm sure this time it can too. so i wont be surprised if u really dont cry or grieve. i wont want u to either. just hope that u can fulfill my wishes. that's all i ask for but if u dont want to, its ok. u r not obliged to, as u say.
good night..