Tuesday, February 21, 2006
its been 1 week since i gave you the flowers on valentine's day. 1 week and still nothing heard from you. seems like you are still unwilling to forgive me. trying so hard to not to be saddened by this. its so difficult. every now and then, for reasons unknown, i get the feeling of anxiety, the feeling of increased heartbeat, the feeling of eagerness, just like how i felt whenever i was about to meet you in the past. for such a long time since you left me, i had not felt such a feeling. it came back again last week and now, i am still feeling in from time to time. know that everything is too late now. know that you felt that it wasnt God's will that we should be together. guess its all part of His plan for bringing me to Him. the process of me getting to know you, planning the combined meeting together, developing feelings for you, being together with you, spending so many wonderful moments together, developing such a deep feeling for you, eventually to be so badly hurt when you left me, deteriorating day by day until i came to a point of having nobody to turn to, nothing to reply on and eventually coming to God. He prob has used you to bring me to Him. i dont know whether you will even be reading this. i dont know whether you have kept the flowers, whether you have read the letter. i just want to say that i am really very sorry for all the hurt i have caused you in the past and really regret doing so. i really am... believe me once more please.....