Friday, January 21, 2005
writing this blog at katong after you left. dont know if i will be back tonight to go online or write this blog or not so just write it now. had a really nice time shopping with you today. see you so happy when you got your shoes, i felt so glad although i didnt do anything to help you get it. saw you get all those beautiful tops and the skirt last time but dont think i will get to see you in them also. hope you had a nice time as i really did very much.l n thanks for letting me take the train with you to eunos although you didnt allow me to take the bus with you. dont know if you realised it but just now i was like trying to hold your hands again a few times. at the old og when you were trying out the shoes, you were unbalanced so i held your arm and i slowly slided down n held yout wrist. wanted to continue and hold your hand but i dont have the courage to. same thing happened also at robinsons in city hall. held your arm but dont dare to try to hold your hand. then in the train, a few times i tried n managed to touch your hand a but but you just moved it away. but when reaching eunos that time, the lower part of my hand touched your fingers i think, and you didnt move it away. wanted to move down n hold your hands, asking you if you will give me another chance, but i dont have the courage. really regretted it so much so much now. dont know why i am such a coward also, not even having the courage to try, although the result will prob be the same since you didnt even allow me to just help you carry your bag, saying there's no reason why i shld do that. but if at least i try but didnt succeed, i know i tried. but now, i didnt even dare to try and no matter what i say now is also no use le. dont think i will have the chance to try anymore either. if next time if there ever is a chance, we wont go out alone together again already. if go also prob will be with other people around. dont think i will ever get the chance to ask you for another chance or to try to hold your hand again. the reason why i dont want sophia to come today is 1stly, i want to spend 1 last time going out alone with you. 2nd reason is i want to try to ask you for another chance and to try to hold your hands again. had the 'chance' but i didnt use it. really hate myself for being such a big coward. wanted to ask you ask many things but i just dont dare to open my mouth, fearing that you will say no.. wanted to ask if i can take a photo with you or take neoprints with you again for the last time but i didnt. ahhhh.... why am i like this? will i even have the courage to do what i wanted to do, just like what i almost did or wanted to do last time? haiz... hope you enjoyed yourself today. o dod very much. for the loan, if you dont have the chance to pay me back anymore, its ok. take it as my last gifts to you ba. at least this time, i know you will definitely like the 'gifts', unlike last time, always get things for you which you dont really like. will end off by saying that i had a really really very enjoyable time with you today again, although i didnt do what i wanted to do. take care k.. prob will go online, prob wont.. i dont know what will happen the next moment also. take care sharon.. i love you... =)