Friday, February 25, 2005
haiz.. heard the news that my ex S4 officer passed away due to brain tumour. he's still so young.. only 30 and he dies just like that.. so unexpectedly. life is really so short and unpredictable? nobody knows when he will die.. when will my turn come? am i having the same problem also? with all these headaches? haiz.. dont care also.. just enjoy life and do all the things you like to do while you still can.. why think so much about the future?
enough of sad news although my life is a sad one and mostly consist of them.. anyway, had a very very nice time with her just now.. first time in 2 months plus she asked me out for dinner.. had a very wonderful dinner and nice time shopping at tampines.. but still a bit disappointed because you didnt let me sit beside you.. and when i just wanted to feel your hair, you also dont allow me to.. am i such a distance from you now? even when you buy your thing you dont let me be at that level or want to tell me what you buying until i ask you. you seem to want to keep certain things from me.. i guess you have the right to but is there really a need do things this way, to see that i go all the way up to the next level before you walk away to buy your things? you really dont trust me that much? i'm already on the escalator on my way up. even if its personal things which you dont wish to let me know, must you go to this extend of not wanting to let me know, looking at me to make sure i really go all the way up before you feel asssured to buy your stuff? never thought that things, our friendship and level of trust will degrade to such a level, where you dont seem to trust me anymore. really hurts me so much so much, to know that things degraded from what used to be that we share all our secrets with one another in the past to such a state now where you dont trust me and dont allow me to know things about you.. anyway, thanks for asking me out for this dinner.. really enjoyed it..