Monday, March 28, 2005
feel so jealous.. she can call her new friends for such a long time but yet she always say she cant call me.. maybe it's not that she cant call me but more like she doesnt want to call me. thinking long time ago that it's prob that she dont want to call me and i was right. in the past she can use the phone at night. even talked to her past midnight once last year and there is no scolding from her mum. she even said that if there is anything, i can give her a call any time. realise now that it's all not true. not a single thing is true.. her mum didnt restrict her. it's she herself who doesnt want to talk.. well, so be it then.. rarely get to talk to her on the phone now and if we do talk, we can hardly talk for 30 min. sms are no longer sent so frequently like in the past. send her sms, she hardly replies or take a very long time later to do so. even on msn, i dont get to talk to her much also already. know that the times when we can talk for hours as friends are long gone, not to mention the time when we were together when we talked to each other everynight... haha.. what a cruel twist of fate. from very good friends to being together to 'friends' and now to almost strangers.. well can only blame it on my ill-fate.. she's a changed person with a new life now. she definitely has no reason to look back to last year, a time when i messed up n screwed up her life. everything that she deserved and supposed to receive last year is finally coming back to her now. the future is bright and the path promising for her once again. will try not to cut across her path, casting darkness on her again.. i will fade slowly into the darkness which i am supposed to be soon, forever be forgotten....... into the darkness, never to be seen ever again...