Monday, March 14, 2005
really so sad when she told me just now that she has decided to quit ventures. this means that i wont get to see her on saturdays anymore. no chance to have breakfast with her on sat anymore. missed those sat last year when i will meet her at her house, then travel to school together for her extra lessons. and after which, she will come for meeting. 2 or 3 times we stayed back after meeting has ended to study before going to campfires. now, i wont have a chance to go to campfires with her anymore. going to miss those saturdays so very badly. thinking of it now, i wanted to tear again. now that she has decided to quit, i have no mood to go back for scout meetings anymore. the reason why i took up the leader position is because she is joining us as a venture and so i took it up so i can see her every week and also to 'protect' her and be with her, spend more time with her. its not because of the troop that i went back as a leader. the real reason is her. and now that the reason behind me going back is gone, i lost the drive to go back already. dont know when i will be able to see her again after she quit ventures. this tue is probably going to be the last time i can see her or go out with her. haiz.. going to look forward to this tue. yesterday, today and tomorrow was already dashed. hope i can really get to go out with her on tue and that nothing will crop up. i sincerely hope so..