Saturday, March 26, 2005
what a boring, lonely and depressing day.. today just sucks so much.. half my body was drenched by the rain today. was stuck in the library the whole afternoon and after that went to roam about alone. spent the entire afternoon and night alone.. no calls, no messages, no nothing. nobody remembers me.. was waiting for a call or message but none came. none.. not a single one since noon time till just an hour ago.. not surprising actually.. i'm the last thing on everybody's mind. nobody will contact me till there is totally nothing to do anymore. so sad isnt it blogie? wanted to sms to ask if she is back home but didnt as if she is still outside, she will prob ask me not to reply also. think now must stick to my plan although it hurts so very much. so much so much.. just thinking of it while on the bus just now is enough to make me tear, what's more carrying it out? where can i find the strength to do so? and tomorrow will be another day spent alone.. sort of expected that she wont ask me and i was right. aren't i accurate? haha.. well, its alright then. she has new, better and nicer friends already so how will i possibly stand a chance? dont be dumb.. she probably will have explainations to do also if she did ask me so maybe it's a good thing she didnt. this year is different from last year.. everything is different.. totally.. soon, where it all started will be where it all ends.... a perfect cycle with a beginning and an ending.. a perfect circle with no loops.... no gaps in between.. just a nice closed cycle, with everything completed.....