Friday, April 01, 2005
cant control my tears and feelings anymore. has already lost count of the number of times i have broken down today. whythe fact that i'm no longer part of her life anymore, that things are no longer the same and that we are is she so hard-hearted? know that i miss her so much and is feeling so miserable now and wish for her sms or call but yet she still didnt even send a sms. how can she bear to do this? she really has the heart to see me suffer and dont care a single bit, leaving as i am? dont she have any feelings for me left at all? after all the time that we spent together, she can bear to do this to me. friends? she know that i have never wanted to just be friends with her. and now that i have no choice but to force myself to accept to be friends with her, she is ignoring my feelings time and again. know that she is busy and that she is having lunch with her friends, at least she can tell me where she is eating so that i can have an idea where she is at this moment. but no. she refused to tell me and also didnt send any sms. am i expecting too much or placing myself in too high a position? i am willing to do all these does not mean she is willing. what they say is right. i did too much and sacrificed too much for her, more than what she did for me, too much for my own good. and now, i am left to suffer in silence and pain for eternity for everything i did for her which i have never regretted. still cant get the fact that i am no longer part of her life, that we are no longer the type of friends we used to be and most importantly, that she has already gotten to life without me. she can do without me but yet here i am, unable to do so without her. no way out now but out.