Tuesday, April 26, 2005
the days are getting more and more unbearable. can feel such a buildup of pressure and stress inside me that as if its going to explode anytime. why must things turn out this way? why must she still insist on ignoring me? know she is getting tired of me. she may not hate me but she is getting tired and sick of me. really cant accept the fact that things end up this way. just exactly 1 year ago, she wrote her 1st entry and she called me her dearie but now she is avoiding and refusing to talk to me or meet me. this big difference is so hard to accept, so painful to bear. i cant even see her or talk to her now. cant go out with her, have meals together or shop together just like how we did last month. 1 month. 1 month and things are so different. what's going to happen tomorrow or the next minute? when will i ever get to see her or talk to her again? i miss her so much that i'm going crazy. this feeling is so painful and it really is literally. but does she know it? why does she still seem so unconcerned or not bothered about me? is she really so hardhearted, to see me suffer and yet is totally not feeling any aches at all? if she is, why must she still continue to hurt both of us? i cant take it much longer. the physical and mental pain is killing me. must she wait till i've fallen before she stop this? miss her so very very much...... when or will i see her again? why must i suffer like this? its so unfair. so very unfair...................