Saturday, April 02, 2005
dont know why do i come back to hall for also. know very well that i will not be able to concentrate or do my work but yet i still came back, only to be more depressed by all the sad memories that surfaced. today is one day where so many coinciding of memories occur, resulting in all the heart wrenching feelings i am feeling now. exactly 52 weeks ago was the combined meeting hike, the hike where i spent almost the whole day with her alone for the very first time, took photos alone with her for the very first time. although tomorrow 3 april marks exactly 1 year but today brings back the sad memories too. and staying in the room now reminds me of the saturdays last year when we will study together on this very room. and normally at this time, we will be having a break, watching tv or starting to have dinner already. and now here i am, alone and sad. will be going for the campfire soon and it also reminds me of the times with her in the past when i went to a few campfires with her, with the most memorable one being the ngee ann campfire. took many beautiful photos of her and us together. that will never happen again. not only has she left me, she has also quit ventures. miss those days so very very much. tonight will be going for overnight cycling, something which we wanted to do together but never ever had the chance to. still remembered all the times we cycled together. once in the chalet, together with wenxiang in pasir ris, once just alone with her in east coast park after which we had dinner at the food centre at east coast park. that was such a beautiful saturday. third time was again at pasir ris park again, together with her best friend sophia. regretted so much now that i did not more time cycling with her then. now i have no more chance to cycle with her anymore, to sit at the breakwater, hugging and holding her, looking at the sea together. the 4th and very last time was also at pasir ris park, alone with her, for the very last time. nothing much happened that saturday but it was still a very inforgettable day with her. all these are just memories, occupying a part of my mind, never to happen again. so saddened at the thought of this. why must this happen? feeling so miserable and miss her so much now. do you know this baby? my heart is calling out in vain for you. can you hear it? calling and calling till it cant anymore. miss you so much now sweetheart. dont know if you will get to read this today. if you do, can you give me a call or sms? know that it will be late but if you want to, i'm sure you will still use the phone right? unless i'm wrong this time. really hope for your call later. but if you really cant or didnt get to read this today, then its just too bad for me then. take care then. goodnight.