Wednesday, June 15, 2005
been really a long time since i wrote here. firstly, dont feel like writing cause there seems to be nothing to write about anymore. secondly, no time to write also. whenever feel like writing something, when online, dont feel like already. thirdly, nobody reads this anyway so it doesnt matter if i write anything or not. today is quite a miracle that i am actually writing something. but what can i write? still the same old thing. miss her a lot but yet cant contact her or talk to her. everyday trying so hard to tell myself not to do so. really so difficult and painful to do so. although its been 3 weeks since i last 'talked' to her and more than 2 months since i last saw her, the pain is still not getting any lesser. really feel like having a talk with her to sort things out. a calm talk, unlike the ones last times which always end up in more hurt, arguments or her if i being angry with me. but will i have the courage to ask her for a talk? i promise this will be a calm talk but if i dont ask her, what's the point of this promise? ah........