Monday, September 26, 2005
its 26th sept today. 1 year since we went to watch the movie dodgeball and went sakae sushi at heeren for lunch. had so much laughter and fun that day. in 5 days time, it will be 1oct, 1 year since her prom night at the grand hyatt last year. can still remember that night so clearly. waiting for her outside till 11.15pm before i got to see her. she was so beautiful, so graceful that night. totally just like an angel. that was all last year, all in the past, never to happen again. i miss you so much sharon. wanted so much to be able to hear your voice, sms you, chat with you online and go out with you. even if its only one of these, i will be very contented already. but i cant even do any one of these. just 1 sms. just 1 sms from you and yet i cant even have this wish fulfilled. feel so miserable. so many problems, so much stress. i cant handle it soon. really wish to be able to talk to you because all my troubles go away when i'm talking to you. somehow wish that i had not made my move last april. at least we might still be very good friends now, talking about anything under the sun, just like how we used to do so. missed the days when i first got to know you. those pure friendship days. time when we used to tease each other, time when we sms each other many times a day, from early in the morning till late at night, especially when i was doing my standby duties in camp. sms-ing you and talking with you made time pass by so quickly then. the times we chatted on the phone for a long time, time when we planned the combined meeting together, hiked out the route together on that friday and sunday. really miss those days a lot. all the nice and beautiful memories which will stay in my mind forever. what would it be like now if romance and love has not taken over our friendship? would we be very good friends, very very good and close friends. the situation today can only be blamed on me. its all my fault that things are like this today. what if time could be turned back to the past? would i still have made my move? i really dont know. i have never regretted loving you. never ever a single second when i have regretted. you were the best present the world has given and still is. knowing you, loving you and spending almost 8 months of my life with you is the best thing that has ever happened in my life and i'm really grateful for that. if i were to die this very moment, the only regret will be because i was not able to be with you till the last breadth of my life, not being able to be friends with you as death seperates us. the only wish i have now is to be friends again, to be able to see her, hear her voice again, talk to her again. if i can just go out with her again, talk to her, see her again, for just 1 day, i'm more than willing to give up my life for just that 1 day. will this wish and prayer come true? oh god, please grant me my wish and prayer. please......