Saturday, October 01, 2005
its been exactly 1 year since her prom night. the night she looked as beautiful as an angel. the night i was so happy when i saw her. went past the grand hyatt just now, the venue of her prom night last year. been walking around everywhere the whole day. know that i have to do my work and study but i cant do so. cant stand being alone. want to just be somewhere where there are people, where its lively, not like here, so quiet, so lonely, just me alone. so scared of being alone now. think i'm losing it, bit by bit. even on weekdays, i just cant make myself stay in and not go out. even though i tell myself to not go out, when it comes to the evening, i just take it anymore and went out to somewhere where there are people, where there is noise, where its not quiet. everytime i'm out in town, i feel so relaxed, so at ease, so soothing, like all troubles, problems and stress are gone. the moment reach back, everything came back again. the moment i'm back, i start to miss her again, even more than when i'm outside. feel so very stressed, so very pressurised. how i wish i can sms her or talk to her. hearing her sweet voice takes away all my problems. how long more will i be able to take this? oh god, what should i do? miss her so very very much. oh god, help...