Thursday, January 25, 2007
just came back from bedok 85. was having leaders meeting with tecktien and chinghao just now till about 9pm before heading to bedok 85 for supper, and in their case, dinner. drove there and so that is why i am able to go there and come back so quickly. dont know how to explain it, but i totally enjoyed tonight's meeting and the company. really such a weird weird feeling, one that i cant explain. like something bad is gonna happen, and that is why i am like enjoying tonight's company with them. and this is not good news. definitely not. because tomorrow night is going to be a long long night of driving. i mean i am already driving very very safely today. the 100km of milage today was completed without hitting past 90km/h even once. in the past, i used to speed, negotiate turns at high speed, flooring accelerator and then slamming the brakes and even thinking of being a racer, without feeling a single bit scared. but now, i am feeling a bit fearful of driving. even as i was driving earlier on, i was so "unsteady", so "scared" and so "unconfident" of my driving skills. i have NEVER ever felt this way when driving. never i stress again. not even when i am still learning to drive. but now, after driving for so much, i am actually having this feeling. i know it has to do with the accident 1 month ago. it has affected me.. seriously.. and now, i am having a bad feeling about tomorrow. really trying to shake off this feeling. especially after nandeesh asked if i am an experienced driver and jianyang said that i am an experienced dangerous driver. he said yijin told me so. i admit i was a bit dangerous in the past but those cases mentioned above are done deliberately. i totally stopped those today. the feelings still stayed even after i am driving very safely today. pray that i can overcome this feeling tomorrow. i need to be steady. i have to stay calm. nothing will go wrong.
please bless and protect us Lord, and let us complete the tasks we have and reach school safely on sat morning. let me overcome this fear and regain back my confidence of driving, Lord.
"Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them." - Mark 11:24
"The Lord is your keeper; The Lord is your shade at your right hand. The sun shall not strike you by day, nor the moon by night. The Lord shall preserve you from all evil; He shall reserve your soul. The Lord shall preserve your going out and your coming in. From this time forth, and even forevermore." - Psalms 121:5-8
"Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand." - Isaiah 41:10