Tuesday, March 20, 2007
its 4.36am on tue morning. as you may have guessed, either by my previous entries or knowing me, i couldnt slp again. i didnt slp last fri night and now, i am not sleeping again. feeling really really stressed, down, moody and depressed recently. recent entries have not been happy or cheerful entries. they were gloomy, dark and cold entries with obvious signs of anger and frustration. this entry will be pretty much be the same. so many problems and issues within these few wks. DnD is on this coming fri. hopefully it will be a success. Grant A Wish was a success last thur. initially planned to raise the amount of close to $1000 over 2 days but the amount was achieved in a mere 3 hours. Praise the Lord! with hall comms coming to a close soon, DnD will be the final event i am involved in. school work wise, assignments and term papers are due in a couple of weeks time. my progress has been ultimately slow. have not even started on either term paper yet. God help me through these 2 term papers and assignments. at least there is something comforting to know about. i have finished all the tutorials which i have not done. that is really very comforting to know indeed. what is left are the soon to be due assignments and term papers. worse still, i dont understand a single bit of topics 2 and 3 of part 2 of the module Compressible and Unsteady Flow. the symbols are making my head spin. getting real worried. Mechanics of Thin Walled Structures is not any better either. ask me to do the tutorial questions again, i doubt i will be able to do so without refering to the notes or answers. i have no confidence in these 2 aeronautical engineering modules. sigh. other than school work, other issues have been causing me to be really very temperamental recently. i dont know but i think i made xiaomei angry. sigh. troop issues have more or less been resolved, i hope. ndp training will commence this sat. campfires period is starting soon with 2 campfires on 14 april. our own campfire's progress is very slow. have to really rush everybody, especially the guides. will be "shadowing" as an observer in the upcoming april cord hike before i can be an assistant examiner and help to plan 2 more rounds of cord hikes before i am qualified as an examiner. i am tired. i am not feeling good. i dont like the current moody, depressed, down and temperamental state that i am in now. i feel like going out to de-stress, doing things which i like to do. to just simply walk around in the nice cooling night and not think of all the school work and non-school problems. i want to be at a place where there are people, where there is life, unlike in hall which is so quiet with nobody, especially in the weekends. i cant stand the quietness. feel so trapped, so mentally taxing and draining. that is the reason why i am out till late at night on fri and sat nights. i feel so relaxed when i am outside where there are people, where it is not quiet. i want to go on a night hike, an overnight hike. been such a long time since i did so. i just want to do things i want to do and like to do but i have been unable to do so. this explains why i am so unhappy, moody, down and angry. i hate the state that i am in now. seriously hate it. and i have no choice but to go through it. hopefully i can get out of this state soon and start to do things which i like to do again. i shall wait for that day to come. meanwhile, i had to endure, endure and nothing but endure. i can do it. i know i can. i must. alright. time to get back to work. hopefully the next entry will be a more cheerful one.