Sunday, May 13, 2007
had a nice service today. was pastor prince's birthday and the church sang a birthday song for him and even had a cake for him. happy birthday pastor prince.
had a loss of $80 today. job was cancelled last min. =( had plenty of time to spare today as a result so went to shop around instead. went to suntec, walked through city link to raffles city then to orchard. met up with jig and shiqin in the evening at simei. chatted for a while before they went back to watch the F1 match. i headed for the airport instead after parting with them. was walking along a dark path along the canal to the bus stop opp expo. the atmosphere, the silence, the serenity and the feeling resembled that when i was in tekong. was a nice peaceful walk to the bus stop, just me alone with the clear night sky and the stars above me. kinda missing the days in tekong. sucky they may be, they bring back nice memories now. these are some of the type of memories that can make my face light up with a slight smile in times like this when i am feeling down.
over at the airport, serenity overcame me again. the busy yet peaceful atmosphere never failed to de-stress me whenever i am feeling down. yes. i am feeling very down. as the days countdown to "judgement day", the more afraid i get. the fear and anxiety is overwhelming. i need to calm my nerves down. i could have stayed at the airport the whole entire night to do so. but since i have moved home now, i could not do so. if i was staying in hall, this wouldnt be a prob at all since nobody will know that i am out the whole night. the best i can do now is to stay there as long as i could before catching the bus back. at this moment when i am typing this entry, i am still thinking, still afraid, still painting all the possibilities that can happen. w.l. is right, i can go crazy thinking like this. well, i am crazy in the 1st place to get myself into this situation. praying for a miracle. God, i need another miracle from You. i'm entrusting this whole thing into Your hands, let there be a miracle God, let there be a miracle.