Wednesday, July 18, 2007
yeap. my God is a wonderful wonderful God. duhz.. i dont know how to say how i was feeling this morning. just feeling so very grateful, so thankful towards Him and so very very touched that i'm at a loss of words. this is what happened. i had to go back to nus today to ballot for my fyp (final year project). the process goes in such a way that everybody writes on a piece of paper their name and their 1st choice and submit it. the department office staff then sort then together according to project. those projects that are chosen by only 1 person means that that person gets the project. those projects that are chosen by 2 or more students will have to be balloted. the ballot goes in this way. the pieces of paper are folded and mixed together and a person picks a piece from the lot, exactly the same way as a lucky draw. the student whose paper gets picked gets the project while the other students who chose that same project have to re-select a new project as their 2nd choice. now, this is what happened to me. my project was chosen by 3 students, me inclusive. the staff, being screwed up (as usual), announced that one of the student's name (lets call him A), saying that he has gotten the project. when i heard that, my heart sank. i was so sad that i couldnt think logically to think that how can it be possible for A to get the project when i had also selected the same project. by right, the project has to be balloted and being not in the right frame of mind, i did not think of this. 5min later, the staff said that my project was chosen by 2 person, myself and another student (B). at that moment, i had a glimpse of hope again, thinking that i had heard wrongly just now for you see, my project number is 28 and so i thought that i had heard 38. yah, so with my heart pounding profusely against my ribcage, i sat there, fist clenched, praying and praying, asking God to let my paper be selected. and behold, my piece of paper is indeed selected!! i was simple delighted, thanking God. but less than 10min later, the bombshell was dropped. the staff called out my name and said that my project was already taken by A. my heart sank even lower this time. then, by some amazing "awakening", i realised that how can A get the project straight away when B and myself had also chosen the same project. and hence, i mentioned this to the 2 "capable" staff and said that this is very screwed up. they were at a loss at what to do momentarily, as expected. after some discussion, they told everyone present that the 3 of us, A, B and myself have to go through balloting to be fair. i was happy and anxious at the same time, with my heart beating even faster. same thing, i just kept praying in my heart for God to let me get the project again. it was the exact same feeling as when i was getting back my O and A level results. and when the results were announced, guess what. I GOT THE PROJECT! you can imagine how happy and relieved i was. i was totally at a loss of words. TWICE, my paper was selected in the bidding. this is just amazing. the grace of God, the power of prayers and faith. my friend said that i was destined to get the project. i know i am not destined to get it. i dont believe in destiny. not anymore. the only way i can explain this is that God let me have that project. i was very thankful and at the same time, very ashamed of myself. i have not been spending quality time with God for almost 3 times and yet, He answered when i called for His help, there when i need Him. Thank you Lord. You are indeed a wonderful God.
“So I say to you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. 10 For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened." - Luke 11:9-10