Thursday, November 29, 2007
as i enter this entry, the memorial service of the 5 rowers would have been over. at this very moment, as i am typing, the bodies of 5 men are being reduced to ashes, or maybe, even having already been turned to ashes. its hard and so sad to think that just less than 6 days ago, these 5 men are alive, breathing, able to be touched, hugged and held, are today motionless, void of life and now being placed in a furnace. the scene must have been extremely heartbreaking, to see the 5 coffins side by side, while family members and friends look on at the service. can imagine how devastated everybody must have been, especially when the coffins are being pushed into the furnaces. many lives will definitely never be the same again. 5 impacting lives are gone forever today, taking everything physical of them away with them, leaving behind only memories for those who know them, and sadness and condolescenes for those who do not.
deeply saddened by the loss of 5 lives. why do such loss of lives always occur near christmas? oh God, why do such things happen? i'm feeling the saddness as if i had known them personally as a friend. why am i feeling so emotional? the heartwrenching news reports and photos in the papers are just so tear-invoking. not that i actually cried, but the emotions are welling up. the photos and description of the family members at the site of the accident, calling out for their loved ones, never to return, the surviving team members, experiencing the pain of knowing their friends and buddies died in front of them and yet unable to do anything to save them. had this experience last year. watching the life drain out of a living person and yet unable to do anything to help. its almost 1 year now. maybe i had not really gotten over it. maybe this incident triggered the inner emotions. maybe.. maybe.. maybe what? i do not know either. perception of life will no longer be the same again. the fragility of life....
Saturday, November 24, 2007
i'm feeling really really really bored now. its sat and here i am, in hall, trying to study.. felt no motivation at all. just moments ago, i was at the staircase, looking at the main road, feeling like going out. saw a lorry doing a u-turn at a roundabout and the scene reminded me of thailand during crescendo. dont know why, know know how to explain, but this is not the 1st time this happened. guess i kinda miss crescendo and wallaby. looking back now, days in 40sar have been fun, especially the overseas training. hopefully, there will be a chance to go back to either crescendo or wallaby again during ict in the near future. know ppl will think i am crazy, but heh, i am crazy now. exams always drive me nuts, even though i have only 1 paper this time. the stress is still there nonetheless. alright. shall end off here. got to get back to studying, if i can even concentrate at all.. got to try.. no choice for me..
Sunday, November 18, 2007
that's the title of the show on screen on channel 8 yest nite at 1230am. the story revolves around 3 person, a heart surgeon specialist, a teenage girl and the girl's social worker. the heart surgeon, dr kwok, lost his wife after failing to save her in a major heart surgery. after her death, her lawyer informed him that she has bought a 15million dollar insurance policy under his name. thinking that he knew of this and hence deliberately killed her, the insurance company put him under investigation. extremely sad that he failed to save his wife whom he loved very much, he lost confidence in himself as a doctor. the teenage girl, ah wi, supposed dumped by her boyfriends is disappointed with life and has no money and no place to live. both kwok and wi wanted to commit suicide and by a twist of fate, met on a few occasions and on the last, went to kwok's apartment to commit suicide. as he was dying, he "saw" his dead wife, who "lectured" him, saying that he is a doctor, a doctor who is supposed to save lives and not help another person to die. heeding his wife's words, kwok decided to live on and help wi change her opinion of life. on the other hand, wi's social worker, ms chan, loves to help other ppl but yet other ppl always treated her badly. chan's bf blackmailed her for money with nude pictures of her and she has no idea what to do about it. one day, while dining at a restaurant, kwok and wi saw a "gangster" boss get hacked on the hand and was bleeding profusely. kwok saved him and later met chan. trying to save chan, kwok, wi and wi's bf decided to buy the nude photos from chan's bf. as they entered the restaurant where the meeting is to be held, the "gangster" boss recognised kwok and called him his saviour. being a scum, wi's bf only gave some of the photos, saying that the money they offered could only buy that amount of money. they started up fighting and at that moment, the "gangster" boss returned to the restaurant to get his hp which he has forgotten. seeing wi's bf fighting with his saviour, he was furious and got his man to grab wi's bf. learning bout what he has done, he was even more furious with him for blackmailing his saviour's gf (chan) and demanded him to hand over all the photos. having no choice, he did as told and as they are bout to leave the salon where the photos are hidden, chan's bf used a pair of scissors and tried to stab kwok. chan blocked the blow and was stabbed in the heart. the "gangster" boss ordered his man to beat up the scum while offering his car to send chan to the hospital. knowing that kwok has lost confidence of himself as a doctor, chan, as she was dying, requested that he do the surgery. eventually, he gathered his courage and did the surgery, which turned up to be a success. in the end, kwok became a gd heart doctor again having regained his confidence, wi and her bf are married, and chan continued to help other ppl. the 4 of them, together with the "gangster" boss, became good and close friends..
Saturday, November 10, 2007
went for bcls today. was a tiring day for me, with only 3 hrs of slp yest nite.. practically dragged myself out of bed today to attend the course. reached slightly just before 8am, thinking that it starts at 8am but to my horror, realised that there was nobody and the revelation that the starting time is 9am struck me. was pissed with myself for not checking yest nite b4 i slp because i could have had slept for another hr. oh well.. tired as i was, i was fully awake by the time bcls started. yeap. the course was very fun and interesting. not trying to boast here, but on my 1st attempt, i had already met the passing criteria. was very happy of course. did pretty ok throughout the entire course and at the end, i passed. i'm now certified!! hurray!! made some new friends too.. carol, james, and oops, i forgot her name.. haha.. oh well.. was a great and very enjoyable course.. aed next? shall see how it goes..
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
ok.. finally an update after more than 1 month. been very tied down by sch work.. its crazy.. fyp alone can kill me.. and i have yet to start tests yet. gosh.. still stuck at the hardware part. why am i so slow you may ask. that's because i have to glue about 4800 wooden cubes onto plywood planks. sigh.. that takes a loooooooooooooooong time.. only 2 are done so far. look at the picture. that's 1 piece of plywood with 477 cubes.
does it look nice? haha. i'm having a "phobia" of cubes now. oh well, must still get it done no matter what. 2 pieces done. another 5 or 6 pieces more to go. God help me..