Friday, May 06, 2005
6th may 2004. the first day that i went to her house to send her to school. still remembered how shocked and surprised she was then when she saw me at her house bus stop. the night before she was still smsing me, saying that she will marry the person who send her to school. coincidentally, i have already decided to give her a surprise by sending her to school. fate it seems. but sadly, things changed totally 1 year later. last year this week, i am meeting her everyday for lunch and got to see her everyday. but now, i have not seen her for almost 1 month already. tomorrow 7th may, is a date when we first kissed each other last year. the date last year which we went to swensons at bugis for lunch, then going to marina bay to fly kite, giving her a peck on the lips at the bus stop at marina bay, discovering our park, home sweet home, and where we exchanged our first kiss. but now, i doubt i will get to kiss her anymore. that friday last year was such a memorable and beautiful day. wonder how she is and how she look now. really miss her so much. for this past week, i went to so many places and all of them reminded me of the times i went to such places with her, all the things i did with her last year such as watching movies, taking neoprints, having meals together at the foodcourt, at ajisen ramen, at pastamania etc.. looking at all the couples holding hands, behaving so lovingly to each other like how we used to be reminded me of the happy times we used to have and just brought tears to my eyes again. tried not to think of them but they just appeared in my mind again and again uncontrollably, especially now, when last year during this period of time in may last year where so many things happened, so many things we did together and during which our relationship really developed a lot, from watching movies together more often, going out more often, seeing each other everyday and having meals together. missed those times last year so much. even before we were together, the times we had together as friends were so heartwarming also. but sadly, our friendship now has seemed to hit rock bottom, not like how it used to be before we were together anymore. communication between us is so much less, and so much colder, not like how we used to tease each other, joke about each other. and now, i dont even get to see her for almost 1 month already. somehow, there is this fear that i may never get to see her again, just like the fear i had last year that she will leave me although she promised she never will. will this fear come true like my other dreams and fears? will i get to see her again? time will tell i guess, if there is time.
goodnight.
