Thursday, June 30, 2005
feeling a rush of emotions again these past 3 days. thinking and missing her a lot again suddenly. broke down today but for a short while. been such a long time and i'm on the verge of unable to take it anymore. this rush of emotions is probably the start and who knows how much longer i can control myself. how i wish she can forgive me and start all over again and be friends but it seems like she is unwilling to forgive me. trying ways to deceive myself. may succeed in doing so but in the end, i still cant deceive my heart. and now, it is starting to prove that it cant be deceived no matter how much i try to. ahhh.. heaven and god help me.....
